Famliles Combine...Help The Bonds Grow Stronger
by Don Gerrity

Now that you are on your way to fulfilling your dreams of the perfect wedding day it is time to start preparing for the wedding. Wedding planning may be a tougher job than you first think! There are so many "little" things that add up to one really big  job! Planning for your wedding day should be something that fits your lifestyle and everyone has different tastes.

Many popular wedding related magazines will write articles about "What's In Style" and "This is how a good wedding should be" but we say...FORGET THAT! This is YOUR wedding day and you should be able to do whatever YOU want on this most special day of your lives.   We all know about the major areas to concentrate on when planning a wedding such as The Church, The Reception Hall, A Place for taking Pictures, Flowers, Gifts for the Bridal Party, Invitations, Table placement/seating cards, Wedding cake, a good Disc Jockey, a good photographer, a good video company, the limousine, the Hotel, etc. etc. etc. . (you can find some of them in our directory) Although these major areas will take you time and effort in researching and negotiating good prices it is sometimes the family issues that will become bothersome.

You may not find an article like this in too many wedding magazines (that will make you feel great) - but you may just thank us in the end as you will be prepared for the occasional family dispute.

Money, Relationships & Life Budgeting is probably one of the hardest things to do in your wedding preparation. (see our other article on budgeting also) Not just because of the money (or lack there of!) but because of the "traditions" of who should pay for what. If you and your future mate are paying for the whole wedding it will help calm these potential problems. But for a large majority of us our families will tend to want to "pitch in" and help. This is a great thing as marriage is all about family. But as the engaged couple you may have to sometimes keep the peace between families during the wedding planning stages. You may need to act as the mediators between disputes regarding your wedding day. (And during at least the first part of  your new life together.) It can sometimes be challenging to do so...but in the end when all is said and done it will bring the families closer together.

This is a common occurrence. Afterall there are two families (sometimes very different) that are expanding into each other. It is only human nature that some conflicts will arise because of their differences, so do not take these disputes to heart.

Our Uniqueness Binds Us

Just remember that it is those differences in the families that have brought you two together. You both fulfill each other in different ways and it is one reason why you love each other so much! It takes time for the families to get closer to understanding one another - even if they knew each other before the wedding. Before the wedding they just seen each other at holidays and other events. But now things are about to change and with change comes adjustment. The most important thing to do is to prepare for this ahead of  time where possible. If you think that there may be a conflict in certain areas of the wedding planning - consult with your future spouse. Talk to each other about these potential "problem areas" so that you can both be prepared and know exactly what to do if  the dispute happens. Your spouse may not know about a potential problem area in your family or vice versa.

As with marriage talking things through and being honest with each other will help you to avoid problem areas even BEFORE they come up! So be sharp and prepare yourselves now....include both families in the wedding planning but expect some conflicts. If you do so it will help the families come together and learn from each other with less heartache.

Remember..Family is what marriage is all about.

Don Gerrity is a founder of WeddingCanada.com